Fans of the popular “Seinfeld Show” will recall an episode entitled “The Bizarro Jerry”.  It is a take-off on Bizarro Superman, Superman’s exact opposite who lives in the backwards bizarro world where up is down, down is up.  He says “Hello” when he leaves and “Good-bye” when he arrives.
 
Events of the last couple of weeks are getting us closer to that bizarre world.  First there was Shirley Nagel of Grosse Pointe Farms, Michigan who refused to hand out candy to children whose parents were voting for Barack Obama.  Her antics made national news.
 
And just when her crazed ideology seemed to disappear into the obscurity it so richly deserved,  another wacko has emerged in the person of Roman Catholic priest Jay Scott Newman of St. Mary’s Church in Greenville, South Carolina.  Fr. Newman who must have been separated at birth from Nagel is urging his parishioners who voted for Barack Obama not to present themselves for Communion unless they first purge their souls of “intrinsic evil” by going to confession.  He argues that any candidate who supports abortion rights should automatically lose the votes of Catholics.
 
In a pastoral letter to his flock Fr. Newman states that Catholics who voted for Obama “should not receive Holy Communion until and unless they are reconciled to God in the Sacrament of Penance, lest they eat and drink their own condemnation”.
Perhaps our response to Fr. Newman’s  ill-advised, ill-conceived stance should be “no donations for priests using the pulpit to prostilize politics”.

Now that the election is over and we continue to be in the throes of an economic tsunami permit me to purge my mind of some scattered thoughts:
 
+  Currently gas is below $2 a gallon but look for the Saudis to reduce production so that us Americans can continue to feather their pockets.  How many Rolls Royce can these oil barons squeeze into their garage!
 
+  Insurance company AIG and their executives and select customers continue to party while the rest of the nation struggles to stay afloat without life jackets.  At their latest soirée, the exclusive hotel where they were partying (er, I mean meeting)  was told not to advertise their presence on any signage.  My hope is that the company does go bankrupt and the executives and their families spend their days searching for the best dumpsters near their homes for sustenance!
 
+  Why did the media spend so much time interviewing the so-called “undecided” voters?  These are classic procrastinators whose whole life must be a series of choices never fulfilled.  Can you imagine trying to watch TV with these people?  By the time they make a decision on which program to watch the episode has concluded.  Instead of referring to them as “undecided” let’s just call them “people who lack the wisdom and common sense to make a decision”.
 
+ The Detroit City Council has asked the government for a ten billion dollar stimulus package for infrastructure costs.  What makes this so laughable is that this request comes from a group of people who are being investigated by the FBI for misuse of funds!
 
+  How about those Detroit Lions.  Does owner William Clay Ford know that he has sole possession of the only Edsel Football Team in the nation?  Fans continue to stay home and those that do attend are admonished by security for wearing paper bags on their heads.  And then there’s the old joke:  How do you keep the Detroit Lions out of your yard?  Answer:  Put up a couple of goal posts.
 
+  Company earnings reports indicate that department stores such as Macy’s and Target and Nordstrom have had disappointing months.  K-Mart and Sears are now offering “lay-aways” which is something I recall from my childhood.  The only merchant doing well is Walmart.  And isn’t Walmart the company that always gets criticized for being non-union?  Well, each time an announcement goes out for a new store would-be candidates line up by the thousands.  And Walmart isn’t asking for a bailout and customers flock to their stores for deals.   So let’s give a doff of our hats to a company that remains strong, keeps prices low and continues to have a loyal workforce.
 
+  And just maybe the Big Three can take a lesson from Walmart when it comes to efficiency.  The automotive industry is saddled with one of the dumbest procedures known to man, that is the Job Bank where workers collect 90% of their pay for doing nothing.  And we wonder why the automotives are in trouble!
 
+  Just saw the new James Bond movie “Quantum of Solace”.  If you see it, call me afterwards and tell me what it was about.  Was there a plot?  Hard to tell.  Lots of action though.  Disappointedly our hero never uttered those famous words: “Bond – James Bond”.  And no gadgets from Q (Quartermaster).  My favorite actor playing Bond – Sean Connery, of course!
 
+  I suspect that some of my rants will not endear me to some of our readers.  But on the other hand I also suspect that many of you share my opinions.  Now I have to figure out what to do with my 101.K, which used to be my 401.K!

Mammoth third quarter losses for both GM and Ford were reported recently and we are told that a major restructuring is in the works.   In conjunction with that let me offer some thoughts on restructuring that I think are shared by many in our nation.
 
First of all, it might be interesting to discover how the automotive executives traveled to Washington, DC for their recent bailout meeting.  Did they each fly on their private jets or opt for coach fare?  Any reason they could not have gone on one plane? 
 
Yes, I know some will argue that if a plane goes down we would lose the brain trust of three companies. But that is a weak argument as far as I am concerned. 
 
Doesn’t each company have a succession plan in place and if not, why not!
 
And why do we continue to pay bonuses and extravagant salaries to these captains of industry?  The argument is that companies need to retain these talented individuals otherwise they will bolt to the competition. 
 
Well, if these all-knowing mega-minds are that talented, why are their companies flirting with bankruptcy?  Strategically it might be a good move to let them flee to the competition since their lackluster track record might just have a similar effect there and thus trim the number of competitors for Ford and GM.
 
Here’s another question. Does Ford chief executive Alan Mulally’s family still fly free on the corporate plane? According to an earlier Ford Proxy, Mulally is required to use company aircraft for all business and personal air travel for security reasons, and that his family and guests were allowed to accompany him on the aircraft. 
 
And how about when Ford Vice President for the Americas Mark Field was flying home to Florida on weekends via the company jet.  The outcry from the public was such that it was discontinued.  But perks for those in the ivory tower seem to be the norm even when those in the trenches are moments away from going on life support units for survival!
 
And here’s a thought -  how about William Clay Ford selling the Detroit Lions for some additional cash flow?  Everyone knows that the franchise is the Edsel of football teams.  Two TV black outs in a row should send a strong message that fans won’t buy an inferior product!  And that goes for automobiles also!
 
These are obviously small expenses when compared with the overall budget but it demonstrates an executive mindset, which keeps them out of touch with the average worker.  
 
These guys need to hang out with us, the unwashed, more often so that they can gain an appreciation of how people are struggling.  Soaring through the skies being pampered in a private plane tends to make one lose focus of what is happening on the ground!
 
And while I’m on the subject of cutbacks, have you noticed now that gas is selling below $2 a gallon there has not been a similar reduction in supermarket prices or airline pillows, beverages, or baggage fees? 

The airlines are still charging for checked baggage and making every effort to discourage carry-ons by lowering size requirements. 
 
One might suggest that there is some lag time between fuel reductions and the resulting price constriction in other commodities but I would rather attribute it to bold-faced greed! 
 
Yes, our country is in the throes of an economic tsunami and no one has an answer for a course correction. 
 
Maybe we should just emulate rodeo bull riders who consider it a success if they can stay mounted for eight seconds on their crazed steed.   For ourselves; we are just hoping for a reappearance of the bull.

My daughter’s facebook status says I want Allen Iverson AND Chauncey! I agree. Why can’t we have both (whinning!)
 
I miss Chauncey already and not only because I’ve got two kids who have Chauncey jerseys that are now going to be worthless. He was a joy to watch and really helped us win those two championships a while ago. A long while ago…

But getting the “bad boy AI” is a great move for the Detroit Pistons basketball club!  I just wish they didn’t HAVE to trade Chauncey! 

And although only time will tell if we become championship contenders,  I echo the sentiments expressed by my 14 year old son today “yesss!!!…I can’t wait to see AI in action at the Palace”
 
Now if we can only get LeBron and Kobe, we would be ALL SET!  Okay, I know, that’s wishful thinking but it can happen…after all we just elected our first African American President tonight - but that’s the topic for another blog altogether….

I looked and looked and looked for something interesting to blog about. But every news report, every commentary, every article I read was focused on bad news and more bad news.  The headlines ranged from “Detroit’s Big Three in trouble” and “Kwame in Jail” to “more job losses” and “foreclosures”. 

And the balance of the news, of course, is focused on the elections.

So what are we going to do? No amount of positive talk is working!  Every conversation at every friend’s home turns into rhetoric on the economy. No one believes Detroit and Michigan will survive and come out of this doom and gloom situation. And that my friends is scary.
 
When I read that Governor Granholm is creating “contingency plans” to soften the blow of job losses if the GM and Chrysler merger happens, my curiousity knew no bounds.
 
What, I asked myself, could the contingency plans be like? What will they entail and when will they be unveiled? 
 
I know that there are some new jobs being created by new companies opening or expanding in Michigan but they are not being created anywhere close to the number of jobs that are being eliminated. 
    
Even without the merger between GM and Chrysler, the situation is dire. Wouldn’t you want to know just a teeny bit about the ”contingency plans” and what specifically the Governor’s office is doing about the situation we find ourselves in? 
  
But since none of that information is forthcoming, I, along with the rest of the world, wait.  I wait and wonder how my home town can be saved!

Over the years Halloween has morphed into what has almost become a national holiday.  In times past children donned store bought costumes or perhaps the “made at home” variety and sauntered throughout the neighborhood for an hour or so and then retired to their own residence to review their booty.  Nowadays Halloween consumes an entire week with school parties, park extravaganzas, workplace events, and the usual number of store employees who are dressed in scary splendor.  It’s not so much about candy anymore but about elaborate costumes some costing in the hundreds of dollars.
 
One aspect that has remained intact though is the customary influx of children who with their parents invade the various neighborhoods for a night of excitement and fun.  Tots with their plastic Halloween containers or sometimes an oversize pillowcase traipse up to the door of friendly ghosts and goblins for an outlay of candy and treats.
 
In some families, a trip to a grandparent’s  home in full costume is de rigueur.  It is a night of unmitigated celebration for these youngsters.  And for us adults it is an opportunity to be generous with candy and savor the looks on the faces of innocent, little toddlers.  It is a moment to be cherished.
 
That’s what makes events in Grosse Pointe Farms this past Halloween night so disturbing and unexplainable.   Seems a resident decided to make a political statement on this night reserved for children by discriminating against those tots whose parents supported a presidential candidate not of this person’s choosing.  Evidently a vote for Borack Obama resulted in no candy for cherub-faced children. 
 
Now to understand the rational underlying this ill-conceived, doltish stance,  one first of all has to submit to a lobotomy.  The next step would be to have one’s mental quotient lowered to that of a common tree slug.  Having done that there might be a chance that one would be able to comprehend why someone would disregard all tenets of common sense and common courtesy and punish innocent children for choices of their parents.  To those with any semblance of gray matter in their head, it is unconscionable and inexcusable to punish children for the political views of their parents.   Even the media that covered this departure from decorum expressed incredulity to say the least.
 
There is an element of good news in this mindless, tactless act of political desperation though that may have been overlooked.  At least children who were of Irish or Italian descent, or those whose parents are within a certain income bracket, children who profess a certain religious conviction,  or children over a certain height weren’t discriminated against as far as we know.  But then again that might be the next criteria for candy handouts.   On the other hand this mindless act might just be the fodder for a movie script, namely, “Abbot and Costello Meet the Wicked Witch of Grosse Pointe Farms”.  I would pay to see that since I think auditions for the starring role have already been concluded!

You know, I am a huge believer of Michigan and the Metro Detroit region and have faith in its revival. I am the one who you will find arguing with others when they talk “doom and gloom about Detroit” because I believe that “Detroit is down, but not out and will prosper again soon”.

Yet today, I feel a bit pessimistic. With Kirk Kerkorian selling more than $7M of his Ford shares and with the prediction that a GM/Chrysler merger may result in another 30K to 40K job losses, many of those in Michigan, it’s natural (don’t you think?) that I feel pessimistic!

But pessimism leads to nothing so I want to present an argument for why the Big Three needs a bailout like the banking institutions got one from Congress.

I hear time and time again that the Big Three have dug their own graves. Ok, I agree that there’s a lot of truth to that! People also say that the government has no obligation to bail the Big Three out. Ok! Purely from a taxpayer perspective, I sort of agree with that sentiment too.

But, wait a minute, I’m not just a taxpayer!

I am a Michiganian. I am a “everything I learned, I learned at Big Three” veteran. I have lived in Michigan for all of the 23 years that I’ve lived in the US and have worked at one of the Big Three for almost 19 of those 23 years.

My family is a “Big Three” family, meaning, not just myself, but most of my family has worked at one of the Big Three. And of course many of our friends currently work at one of the Big Three. So given the fact that day in and day out what happens in and with the Big Three will impact someone I love or care for, how can I just be a taxpayer with a selfish viewpoint of saving my taxpayer money?

Remember, what Henry Ford did when America was suffering from the Great Depression? He offered at least $5 per day to his workers back when $5 was a lot of money! His motives were questionned by many but regardless of whether he had ulterior motives for such a move, Henry Ford helped revive the US economy with his bold move.

Now Michigan and Ford along with the other domestic automakers perhaps needs the help of our government. The same help that we so freely offer countries that don’t deserve our help. With the government’s help, the Big Three can perhaps survive and survival means jobs and growth of not just the local Michigan economy but that of the entire US.

Additional help in the form of tax breaks, incentives to keep jobs locally, and education and training programs to retool the workforce (not just the factories) are all creative forms of help that the government can offer and which can only create a fantastic Return on Investment (ROI) for them.

The alternative is staggering and horrific. That’s because if even one of the Big Three were to shutdown, imagine the impact to our country! Job losses, idle factories, & downstream impact to suppliers who supply to the Big Three are just a few consequences of just one of the Big Three shutting down!

In my opinion, if the government can bail out the banking institutions who were not just greedy but deserve to be thrown in jail forever for unethical practices, why shouldn’t it bail out the Big Three?

After all, we all agree that the Big Three automakers are guilty mostly of “short-sightedness” and “some stupidity” because for the past 10 years, instead of spending time on making more fuel efficient vehicles or ones that run on alternative fuels, they sat fat and happy on SUV sales.

P.S. It is a controversial viewpoint, but, it is my opinion!

Actually, that’s 7556 NEW jobs will be created that will generate $489.2M revenue when the MEDC helps seven companies grow, this according to the MEDC.A press release. Kudos to the following seven companies who will create the new jobs in Michigan:
Advanced Defense
Vehicle Systems Corporation
United Solar Ovonic LLC
Morley Companies Inc.
A NetEnrich
Reino Linen Service Inc.
Hagerty Insurance Agency Inc.
City of Sturgis Mason County With these new jobs, Michigan’s jobless. A rate which is down today from 8.9% to 8.7% should move further downward.

One of my favorite movies is a dark gangster movie starring Joe Pesci entitled Eight Heads In A Duffel Bag.  Pesci, a mob courier is hired to transport the heads of eight murder victims to a mafia boss to prove that the hits had in fact taken place.   Unfortunately and comically, the duffel bag becomes mixed up with a similar bag of a college student who is off on vacation.  Pesci tries to find a way to get the heads back and what follows is a series of misadventures and hilarious incidents, as the heads keep turning up in unlikely locations such as an industrial clothes dryer.  Yes, I said it was dark but my kind of humor.
 
Recalling this movie led me to believe that what with the current state of politics and the financial downturn we are experiencing, it may be time for some additional heads to roll!
 
Let’s start with all the mortgage executives who encouraged people to take out loans without even verifying the income or resources of the borrowers.  People were led down a crimson path somehow believing that their modest incomes would allow them to occupy homes well out of their economic reach.  The loans were structured so that the first couple of years were within reach of their income.  Once the higher interest rate was triggered, the mortgager usually ended up in default but by then these predator lenders had made their commission and had moved on to other victims.  Time for their heads to be placed in a duffel bag!
 
Moving on let’s not forget about the dreadful decisions made by Wall Street executives who despite internal information to the contrary, kept informing investors that all was well.  Now we have the government and of course us taxpayers, bailing out these monetary moguls.  Most have been able to keep their well-padded salaries and their lack of remorse or responsibility does not sit well with the general public.  Open up another duffel bag for their heads!
 
And while we are on the subject of parasites, let’s not forget the mental giants at AIG, the giant insurance company.  After a bailout of billions of dollars from our benevolent government, executives of AIG along with what was characterized as “top performers” who steered business to AIG,  were feted to a spectacular couple of days at a top resort in Monarch, California.  Congressional reports indicate that over $23,000 was spent at the spa alone!
 
My recent call to AIG confirmed the details of the soirée, however the representative stated that “no AIG management benefited from the spa”.  Quizzing the rep as to whether or not the AIG execs had pedicures provided an indignant “no” response.  I guess asking the rep if she had examined their feet for signs of a pedicure would have been a stretch.  In any event, I think a solid case for more heads to roll and find a place in my duffel bag is not out of the question!
 
My purpose in suggesting that heads should roll is not to be construed as an attack on what some would consider extravagant salaries.  I am not a proponent of class warfare.  And in my opinion, placing limits on salaries or even instituting a tax on windfall profits discourages productivity, something our nation excels in.  What does concern me though is when high salaried executives engage in deceit, malfeasance, or just bad decisions and they are allowed to maintain their salary and perhaps trigger a “golden parachute”.  Case in point would be AIG executive Joseph Cassano who earned $280 million over eight years, then left the company in March 2008 and was slated to receive $1 million a month through the end of the year.  It would be counterproductive to dispute his salary but shouldn’t there be some consequences for the CEO when a company fails.  Frankly, I think there is a special place in my duffel bag for his head!
 
Now that our government with their largesse has provided huge cash infusions to many of these companies,  I think it is incumbent upon our representatives to establish strict and measurable goals for the executives.  Failure to meet these mutually agreed upon goals should result in immediate termination with no severance pay or golden parachute.  What with the high unemployment in our nation, I am confident that there will not be a lack of qualified candidates to fill these roles and agree to the terms.  And as a final incentive for these execs to succeed, a subtle reminder that there’s always additional room in my duffel bag may suffice.